Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Jesus... I'm overcome by desires so heavy that they paralyze me. Specific things. Their mention tenses me. You know them.

Yet even in my rampant desires for a thousand other things, all I'm really wanting is You. I know it--If I dig to the bottom of those longings... down to their foundation... they're cravings for a satisfaction, a passionate love, an intimate embrace that will only find fulfillment in You.

I know that the things I so fervently want are foolishly inadequate. They have no power to satiate the depths of this desire. At their failing, the longing will remain-- gaping and yawning... unsatisfied. I'm a tangled mess of want. I want a relationship, deep friendships, prestige, unconditional acceptance from others, achievement, recognition, favor, glory, the satisfaction of my flesh, the praise of man, entertainment, comfort... I know it. I drown in it.

Like a fool, I turn to these things and make them my dumb, mute idols.

But there is tonight. Tonight those wants have become transparent. I can see through their slick exterior... see past them... to the thing that I want so badly that I can feel it in my throat. A pull. My body is full of desire for it. It's You.

All I want is You. You are the treasure hidden beneath dust and dirt and chaff. You are the water-- 200 feet down the well-- whose taste is life. You are my glory. My pleasure. My hope.

Finding myself in You is discovering the intimate Love for which I've wept, fought, waited, longed and grasped.

You are my joy.

All I want is You.


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